I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
