i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
