I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
