My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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