she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
