Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
