I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize