Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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