He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
