you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
