Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
