So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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