At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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