she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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