He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
