All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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