i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
