Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
