did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
