If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
