I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
