We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
