Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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