Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize
