you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
