I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
