I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
