Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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