so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
