I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
