Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
