hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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