OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
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