so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
