what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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