the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
