I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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