I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
