Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
