Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
