Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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