You work out of a Hotel?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
