I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
