Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
