Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
