In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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