3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
