I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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