Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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