watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
