Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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