one might say we're banned from that church
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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