That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
this boner is exhausting
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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