just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
