so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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