3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i will never coherently bang her
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
