I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize