So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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