Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
