you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
